End Of The Spear

This was the most violent movies I have seen in a long time. (I don’t watch many movies.) I have known the story most of my life—and have seen the documentary “Beyond The Gates Of Splendor” two times recently—I should have been prepared for the story as it was told.

I think, in this case, the violence was good for me. Up to this point, I had not been impressed with the sacrifice that was made. It was hard, but today, I might have finally got it. The five men that were killed, were totally committed to Jesus—no comfortable fence sitting for them—they were ready and willing to give their lives—so that others could have the opportunity to hear about the Savior they loved so dearly.

I left with a desire to be more committed to my Savior. I know it is easy for me to protect my own life—and not offer it—so that God can use it however He needs to fulfill His will.

It was in the sacrificing of those lives—and many other pieces—that I saw today the sovereignty of God orchestrating the Gospel message going to the Waorani people. I get excited when I think of how God can bring things together, things that appear to be horrible—yet turn it for His good.

I loved the way the Gospel was presented—it was in the language of the Waorani. I love it because it was not an in your face, hell fire presentation—but it’s one that an unbeliever would surely be likely to ask lots of questions. Why did those five men want to reach those remote people so badly? Why was there so much forgiveness from their families? Why would the wives and children choose to stay after such a tradegy? The markings, follow the markings.

I LOVED the closing! I won’t be able to quote it exactly, but Steve Saint (one of the sons of the fallen men) was speaking. “Some might see all we lost here, I would rather look at all we gained.”

Redeeming Love

I've just finished reading "Redeeming Love" by Francine Rivers. The story is a fictional take on the principles of the Old Testament book of Hosea.

It's amazing to me how much I learned about God's unconditional love from this book. It makes me even more thankful for His love. It makes me marvel at His love for me. It makes me want to love unconditionally.

There's something else that just hit me in the face about this book. When I do want to love someone to the Lord--I have to do it in a language they understand. The main female character in this book didn't understand love--she had never really known love--so she didn't understand true love when it was showered on her. It reminded me of the importance of following God's leading and patience when trying to share love with someone else. God does understand how to get the message of love to us and to those we want to share His love with around us.

It's a great book--all you guys--don't knock your wife down rushing to the store to get this great read!!!

"So now, come back to your God! Act on the principles of love and justice, and always live in confident dependence on your God."
Hosea 12:6 NLT

Thursday Thanksgiving

Today I am thankful:

That God continues to teach and show me His unconditional love--I don't think He is ever going to give up on me!

That God knows each thing in my life--He doesn't make mistakes.

For RAIN!!!!

For Honee adventures!

That we got to celebrate our church family's 50th year anniversary--it was quite a celebration!

For laughter!

That our Monday night Bible study group just about quadrupled this week! We are studying "Conversation Peace"--I need it! Bad!

For my health--I've had a little bug this week--not too bad--but bad enough to know I need to be more grateful the for the good health God blesses me with.

For all the incredible comments on my post on *depression*.

For my friend Terri--she's a princess--did you know? She also one of the bestest auntees in the land--I think she likes race cars (or is the drivers?)--I am so thankful for the way she cracks me up over and over--but my favorite thing about TL, is her amazing love for the Lord!

"But thanks be to God, who made us his captives and leads us along in Christ's triumphal procession. Now wherever we go he uses us to tell others about the Lord and to spread the Good News like a sweet perfume."
II Corinthians 2:14

The Shame of Depression

A young wife/mother in our area passed away last week. I didn't know her personally, but I know several people that did.

I've never been depressed. For some reason, God chose to give my brain all the chemicals it needs to function correctly.

I have been around people that did have depression. It's an ugly and debilitating disease.

From my experience in the church, we still whisper about depression. If you have cancer or diabetes, we can pray for you. I've heard people that struggle with depression told they need to trust God more. I can't imagine what damage this does to a person who's mind already doesn't work correctly.

If you have diabetes, we encourage you to take your medication. If you have depression, we're not sure you should be on medication.

God can heal people with cancer and He can heal people with depression. For whatever reasons, and He's God, I don't doubt Him--He doesn't always heal.

Are too many people medicated for depression in our society--people who don't really need drugs? Probably, I'm not a doctor and don't know. That does not lessen the absolute pain of someone who truly is depressed.

I do know depression is real. Depression hurts. And if you have it, you can't pull yourself up by your boot straps--because you don't have any boots.

I pray that we can get away from the shame of depression--that those of us who for whatever reason don't have it will get away from our sin of feeling we are better than someone who does--that we can quit the whispering and start praying and encouraging and accepting.

If you are depressed, I would love to give you a hug and tell you God loves you and you are so very important to Him. If you know someone that has struggled with depression, please hug them pray for them, validate them in any way you can--that God does care. Let's quit whispering about them--shaming them for the way God made them.

Let's work at getting away from the shame. If someone needs medication, let's help them get it, and encourage them to take it.

I mourn for a young family not too far from me that are without their wife/mother/ daughter this morning. I don't know the details of this situation. I do know it's a tragedy and I pray for them and my heart hurts with them.

Sunday Thanksgiving!

Weather radar for this morning!

IT'S RAINING!!!!!

It's been a while! I am soooo thankful!

Sunday blessings to you all!

Seeing St. Louis

I've counted--I have not been on a plane for 32 days--I was afraid that I might have to take jetty out of my name! PH had not ever been up in the Gateway Arch in St. Louis--so we decided that would be a great adventure for us. The arch was wonderful--we explored downtown St. Louis--Union Station--which has been totally refurbished--lots of history--it was a great getaway!

Honeee Quote

"Most of the people I've known who are most like Jesus don't offer much theological opinion or demanding free advice about how others should change. Some of the better Bible scholars I know split scriptural hairs and come across just plain mean."

Thursday Thanksgiving

Today I am thankful:

That God is Faithful--even when I am not--He is!

When I am desperate--I have Someone to run to.

That God can teach me lessons through my children.

That God is teaching me how to show love and respect to people of different faiths--without compromising Who He is.

That I have a job I love--and days off to catch up, too!

That God provides all my needs--spiritually, emotionally, and physically.

That God stretches me in ways I am not comfortable.

For prayer--so that I can pour my heart out to God.

For baby smiles that make me feel warm and fuzzy all over.

For Rick Atchley's lesson last night (and every time I get to hear him). Just 2 of his points from last night: Satan doesn't care if he can't make us an atheist, he's happy if he can discourage us and Satan want us to think what we are doing is nothing significant.

For blogging friend, Jacinda. She's a busy SAHM, with 2 precious daughters--one has started school this year--so she is volunteering at school, along with being a full-time wife and mom. I find her excellent comments all over the internet! She has the sweetest prayers and the cutest pictures on her blog! I am thankful our blogging paths crossed!

"But giving thanks is a sacrifice that truly honors Me."
Psalm 50:23 (NLT)

Generous Orthodoxy

McLaren shares this story from "Broken We Kneel" (Diana Butler Bass) in his book, "A Generous Orthodoxy". I am taking it out of context, so it may not have nearly as much meaning to you as it did me as I read it in the context of the whole book. The reason I am sharing this particular story with you is that for me, after reading the book, it's an example of what I consider the tone of the entire book to be.

"One day (my daughter) Emma saw a woman walking toward us covered in a veil and asked the inevitable, "What's that mommy?"

"Emma," I answered, "that lady is a Muslin from a faraway place. And she is dressed like that--and covers her head with a veil--because she loves God. That is how her people show they love God."

My daughter considered these words. She stared at the woman who passed us. She pointed at the woman, then pointed at my hair, and further quizzed, "Mommy do you love God?"

"Yes, honey." I laughed. "I do. You and I are Christians. Christian ladies show they love for God by going to church, eating the bread and wine, serving the poor, and giving to those in need. We don't wear veils, but we do love God." After this, Emma took every opportunity to point to Muslim women during and shopping trips and tell me, "Mommy, she loves God." One day, we were getting out of our car at our driveway at the same time as our Pakistani neighbors. Emma saw the mother, beautifully veiled, and pointing at her, shouted. "Look mommy, she loves God!"

My neighbor was surprised. I told her what I had taught Emma about Muslim ladies loving God. While she held back tears, this near stranger hugged me, saying, "I wish all Americans would teach their children so. The world would be better. The world would be better."

The footnote to this story in the book:
"Before some readers wish to embroil me in debates about whether Allah of Islam is the same God as Yahweh of the Bible, please allow me to show at least a few Muslims the same grace Jesus showed. (a) a Roman centurion when Jesus said he had not seen such faith in all of Israel and (b)a Syrophonecian woman when he told her she had great faith. Please allow me to believe that if God would use stars to lead wise men (astrologers) from the East to Jesus, God might also speak to Muslims in terms of their own worldview and vocabulary."

Do you agree/disagree with this approach to someone with a different belief system from yours?

God's faithfulness

The faithfulness of God amazes me. When I ignore Him--He is faithful. When I am confused and don't know which way to turn--He's there. When I think someone else has been unfaithful to me--He shows me how He's been faithful to me. When I do the wrong thing--He's faithfully there forgiving allowing me the chance to do the right thing. God is faithful--that's just Who He is.

I praise God that His faithfulness reaches to the skies!

I need a trip north!

I am with Elizabeth! I wanna go to all 50 states--it's pretty obvious which direction I need to head! I think it's pretty silly, I have been to Kansas about 1,000 times and have never been to Nebraska!!!

create your own personalized map of the USA

Blessings...

A few minutes ago, an aging, small, cute little car--stuffed with most of his earthly possessions--and driven by one of biggest blessings on earth--started on it's journey south--to start a new semester and to see what God has next for him.

It's no secret--I absolutely love my time with my kids--they are all three huge blessings in my life.

They are all adults now--they don't have to spend time with me--they don't have to really care about me--they don't have to even respect me--if they don't want to. When they do bless me with their time, care and respect I am just so thrilled I can hardly stand it.

It makes me think about the time I choose to spend with my heavenly Father--the care I give things that matter to Him--the respect I give Him each day as I live my life? Do you think it thrills Him for me to give him my time, care and respect???

I think I am understanding just a little wee bit how I can make my Father happy...I know I don't understand it all...but I think I am understanding some things a wee bit better.

Desperate

I am feeling desperate for God right now. This Michael W. Smith song keeps racing around my mind:

"This is the air I breathe
Your holy presence living in me

This is my daily bread
this is my daily bread
your very word spoken to me

And I'm, I'm desperate for you
And I'm, I'm lost without you

And I'm desperate for you
And I'm, I'm lost without you.

I'm lost without you.

I'm lost without you.

I'm desperate for you."

I'm not depressed or upset--nothing is terribly wrong--I am just desperate to rid my life of anything that would keep me from the presence of my Father.

EDIT--Thanks to Laura for this link. I have been trying to decide why I felt so desperate today--the link talks about how desperate people were to get to Jesus in the NT--that's what I have been reading--and I am desperate to get to Him, too. There's a couple things in that post I haven't thought about before--and I am still thinking through them. Like, do desperate people make bad church members???

Thursday Thanksgiving

Today I am thankful:

That God gave me purpose in life--to be His faithful disciple in the world.

That God somehow seems to keep bringing us back to the simplicity of The Message--it's all about Jesus.

That God protects me even when I don't know He is--that He provides for us even when I don't know I need something.

For people that seek God.

For people that encourage me.

For people that make me laugh.

For beautiful sunsets.

That Aggie-ed will be back for a quick visit before he goes back to school.

That's there's rain in the forecast--we still desperately need rain here!

For my blogging buddie Anne. I've come to respect her as a wife, mother, musician, theologian, friend, and soon-to-be homeschooler. She's in love with the Lord--she blesses my life--and I am so thankful God allowed us to bump into each other.

"Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done."
Philippians 4:6

What comments!

I am so excited about the comments from last night's post--they really are refining my thinking! I was away from the house all day, so I didn't get to get into a *conversation*.

I'm not the best at words--and I fear I might not have expressed myself clearly. What I wanted to say (and the comments pretty much clarified this--*thanks so much!*) was that what I basically got the emergent thing to mean--was that some people are turned off to current Christian vocabulary, baggage and traditions--but might actually be quite open to Jesus. I don't really care about the word emergent--I can take it or leave it--but I do care about the people. If I can use different terminology or a different worship style and reach people for Jesus and just Jesus--I am for it.

The worship example may have been a poor one--because the emergent talk includes so much more--it's just what I thought of. I hope I would never judge someone from the look on their face--even though when I'm personally happy I find it kind of hard to contain. I just appreciate the opportunity to worship that way and not be judged. I have been totally blessed by a couple of worship opportunities with predominantly younger groups that were very contemplative and pretty subdued to what I am used to--and I loved worshipping that way also. I just love to worship God!

I have a heart for young people--I learn so much from them it's just flat embarrassing. I've met a few that have no desire for a church as a social or political organization. They don't want to hear about the current *issues*. They are interested in a place where they can worship Jesus--give their lives to just Jesus.

I pray there's never The First Church of the Emergents. I do agree that *emergent* means different things to different people. I do think studying the emergent writings has helped me, personally, understand a little about people who would not come to accept Jesus with the same logic/thinking I have. It's not wrong thinking--it's different thinking. If it teaches a life that all about Jesus and none about self--I am thanking God!

Thanks so much for all the comments! Ya'll just teach and encourage me so much!
I am just soooo blessed!

So, why emergent??

I thought LVM's comment on my last post was quite relevant--so I thought I should back up a bit and talk a bit about why I got interested in the emerging theology thing at all.

The closing part of his comment was:
"Emergent theology doesn't really impress me very much, but I still try to keep an open mind to what they are attempting. I tire quickly of their rewording and phrasing of everything they come in contact with. Perhaps I am just too old to train a new dog."

I don't know how old my friend is, but I'm pretty old and I've had similar thoughts--especially to his second sentence here. I've been around long enough to see a couple generations now define *Jesus* for themselves. Our parents can teach us about Jesus, but there comes a time when we have to see Him on our own.

When I was in my 20's there were "Jesus People" or "Jesus Freaks" or whatever. What I saw then and what I see so much of the time in young people is they want only Jesus. When a young person is brought to faith, by their parents or youth pastors or whoever, that person injects what has worked for them in living the life God called them too. It's my suspicion that young people or anyone struggling along these lines may just want to back to the truth of who the Jesus of the New Testament really is without any baggage someone else might have picked up along the way.

I love young people and I know just a few of the below 30's crowd. I know a few that can relate to God/Jesus in what I might call a more traditional way--taking hold of the traditions and beliefs passed down to them and moving forward. I know of others that cannot relate to some of the traditions and might give up on Jesus if they couldn't go back and just develop a relationship with Jesus as they read about Him in their Bibles.

There's much more to the emergent talk that worship styles, but my personal example here happens to be from public worship.

I grew up in church through the 60's. It was a very formal, traditional church. I do not doubt these people loved God with all their hearts. However, I remember looking around as a kid when we were singing about Jesus and no one smiled. Even "Hallelujah, I am rejoicing" was sung with a completely straight face. It stymied me. If the news of Jesus was so great--why weren't we dancing in the aisles?

Where did we end up raising our children? In a church that my daughter respectfully calls "clappy happy". I was so happy about Jesus I can hardly stand myself and love that worship style with my church family.

Now, there's been a whole generation raised in the clappy happy church and what do many of them like? Many prefer to worship in a more contemplative, meditative style when meeting with their communities of faith.

As long as we all are worshipping the One true God and Jesus, the Son--I believe we can worship God in all three "styles" and still be pleasing to God.

I am interested in emergent theology because the number of people claiming Christianity is dropping--church attendance is dropping. I am not for compromising one thing about Jesus. However, if someone can come to faith in Jesus, and just Jesus with a different approach then I am going to just be pretty clappy happy!

I am really trying to understand here--am I getting it at all??

Quiet

The house is amazingly quiet tonight.

Aug and Critter are back to their respective lives.

Aggie-ed is spending this week working with AFC at a children's home in Stephenville.

Our children are all still on a school schedule, so we were blessed with their presence for a long time over the holidays. Some day, they may only get a couple days off for Christmas! For now, I just feel sooo very blessed because we had almost two full weeks with all three of them.

I've been studying emergent theology lately. Emergents do not believe religion is lived in isolation. There's a lot I'm learning that I like about emergent theology--but this one I believe so strongly. God put us here to go out into the world. We need emulate Jesus so people who need Him so badly can see Him. Holy huddles are great for strengthening and encouragement--but we must leave them and go out into a world that needs Him.

I am emergent for sure on this point. As much as I would love to have our children closer to us--I am so thankful they each have ministries where they can be Jesus to the people God puts in their lives wherever He puts them! (And I still miss them just a little bit!)

"For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life."
John 3:16 (NIV)

Tagged!!

This one was pretty hard for me--I am posting an incomplete tag--if what the tag was supposed to get me to think through some things--it worked!

Things I want to do in 2006

Give God the glory in all I do
Work on time management/discipline
Eat 5 fruits/veggies a day
Write more notes of encouragement
Stay focused on the task God has before me
Stay involved in small group Bible study
Love unconditionally


Things I want to do less in 2006

Judge people
Eat chocolate
Panic instead of pray
Mindless internet surfing

Thanks Jeannine for the mental/spiritual exercise!

Thursday Thanksgiving

Today, I am thankful for my mom! Today is also her birthday (she's amazingly young to have a daughter my age!). It's also the last day of her visit with us here in Texas!

My mom is a Christian mom that still blesses me in so many ways. Of course, with my analyst type mind, I've had to figure out what some of her most effective parenting strategies were.

One of the ones I think is most important (and I think a lot of people do this and don't even think about it--I just *over-think* some of the time) is how she parented us from her hands to God's.

When a baby is a newborn, s/he is 100% dependent on his/her parents. My mom's goal was the have us 100% dependent on God when we left home. She did this by letting go a bit every day. When a child is able to take over a decision--let her/him take it and be accountable for his/her choices. If they make a mistake, the best time to make a mistake is when you have dad/mom to pick you up. Mistakes from wrong choices can be extremely effective teaching moments when parents use them wisely. As a teen, my release to God's hands became complete--I knew when I went out with my friends--my parents wouldn't see what I did--and I might have been able to hide something from them--but my Heavenly Father has all-seeing eyes and I understood, He would not miss a thing!

I learned how important a parenting concept this was when I taught college at Oklahoma Christian about 145 years ago. I had students that came from incredible Christian homes with parents that loved them more than life itself. Yet, their children did not know how to make a decision without the parents. I realize everyone will make just plain stupid decisions now and then--but I do believe decision-making can be taught and caught from parents and is most effective when parents trust God for their choices--and teach children to make their own age-appropriate decisions from a very early age!

I thank my mom (and dad) for the deliberate parenting they did in this area!

I've been blessed with a most incredible mom--and I am sooooo thankful for her!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!

Happy 2006!

I have a *theme* song for 2006. I think it best describes where God has brought me to this point in my life and where He wants me to go from here. I have bolded the phrases that really are meaningful to me!

Could You Believe
by Twila Paris
from the album "True North"

He was a friend to sinners
He was a gentle man
Beautiful, humble master plan
His voice could pierce the darkness
Quiet an angry sea
I hear Him saying, "Follow Me"

I look in your eyes and I tell you these things
But somehow I know that it's hard to believe

Could you believe if I really was like Him
If I lived all the things that I said
If for a change I would kneel down before you
And serve you instead
Could you believe?

He was the Lamb of mercy
Undying hope of men
Waiting for love to come again
He is the Light of heaven
Radiant Prince of Peace
I Hear him saying, "Follow Me"

I look in your eyes and I tell you these things
But somehow I know that it's hard to believe

Could you believe if I carried my own cross
If I saw that the children were fed
If for a moment I held my opinion
And quietly led
Could you believe?

I am meant to be a pure reflection of the truth
So above it all I pray that I will not obscure the view

Could you believe if I stood here transparent
And through me you could look in His eyes
Could you believe if you saw right inside me
and there was no disguise

Could you believe if I was really like Him
If I lived all the words that I said
If it was clear that I held in my heart
What I know in my head

Could you believe
Could you believe
Looking at me
Could you believe
Could you believe?